Brayden's Story

Has it really been a week since I went to bed very late Tuesday night (actually early Wednesday morning) and just as I was getting myself comfortable (a feat which was no small task) felt that familiar and fear-inducing warm gush. This gush was different though. It kept coming and coming. I remember thinking how all along I had feared hemorrhaging and this was finally it. I remember wondering if I would pass out due to blood loss before we got to the hospital. I was so, so scared.

August had just gotten in the shower moments before and couldn't hear me calling for him. I desperately did not want to stand up because I knew the gushing blood would cover my legs and the carpet, yet I had no choice. I made it to him as fast as I could and let him know it was happening.....again.

It was at that point that I finally looked down and, to my amazement, saw nothing on my legs and nothing on the carpet. My water had broken! And the fluid was clear (a very, very good sign for the health of the baby)! Of all the scenarios I had imagined, this was not one of them.

I also knew, at that moment, that this would be the night we would meet our baby. To say I was freaking out would be a ridiculous understatement. I began to tremble uncontrollably and would do so until we reached the hospital. It was all too much to take in - my water had broken, our baby was on his way, and I was headed for a c-section - that night! I remember August using a very soft, assuring voice in an attempt to calm me down. I wish I could say it worked.....

We arrived at the hospital about 1:30 a.m. and they began prepping me for surgery. It always feels like everything happens so slooooooowly in the hospital and so it seemed I had a loooong time to anticipate the needle they would use for my spinal anesthesia. I know that should have been the least of my worries but the thought of a needle in my back! They also drew my blood in expectation that I would need a transfusion in the OR.

By 3:30 a.m. I was flat on my back with August seated near my head, my legs and torso completely numb, feeling a bit loopy from the Morphine in my anesthesia, and with a blue drape concealing my view of anything lower than my chest level. I remember glancing at the clock then and it was 3:38 a.m. I had heard from August and others that my OB was really fast in the OR so I asked him his best guess for when the baby would be out. He predicted 3:55 a.m. - which would ironically be the time he would be closing me up aftewards.

I remember I could see, through the reflection of the OR lights above me, my OB prepping my belly. I chose not to watch much of the operation in those reflective lights. Instead I waited.........waited for the first hint of his little "voice". I knew if he came out crying, he was likely in good shape. But if he came out quietly, that would not be a good sign. And there it was. First a wimper....and then a good loud squak. They wiped him dry, bundled him with warm blankets, and handed him to me. And our tears just started flowing.

It was 3:46 and while our children and friends slept soundly, sweet Brayden had made his way into the world safely. Bedrest was over. The fear of hemmorhaging to death was over. (I remember saying to August later that day, "I'm so glad I didn't die today.") The fear of losing our baby was over. The goodness of it all was overwhelming. All I could think was, "Look what God has done!!" It was a new day and I couldn't wait to start heralding his arrival to anyone who would listen.

The remaining hours of that night are a little foggy to me. I remember feeling enveloped by peace as I rested in the recovery room. I remember August running back and forth with the camera from the Recovery Room to the Nursery. (Anticipating being separated from the baby for the first several hours, I had given August explicit instructions ahead of time that I wanted him to report EVERYTHING about the baby back to me.) And then I remember them bringing him to me. His blood sugar was alarmingly low and, rather than supplement with formula as a first route, they chose to let me try and nurse him. (A decision for which I'll remain forever grateful.) He nursed well and his blood sugar rose immediately, and was still rising even hours later. There was also fear of him being cold too. So we spent those first hours getting to know one another skin to skin - my body keeping his warm.

As dawn came, we started making calls. First to our girls who weren't surprised that Mom was in the hospital - again. They knew the routine now. Except this time, we had big news. It was such fun to hear the surprise and delight in their voices.

No, this wasn't a night any of us had expected......and there was great rejoicing.