Couch Chronicles - Vol. 7

(No, we don't own this "couch" but a girl can dream can't she?)

During a discussion on black bears which are occasionally seen in our neighborhood:

Me: "If you ever encounter a black bear, supposedly one of the things you should do to protect yourself it to make yourself look bigger."

Eliza: "Mom, you would be good at that." (spoken as she eyed my belly)

I'm sure it was meant as a compliment.........right?!

Couch Chronicles - Vol. 6 (Holy Week Photo Edition)

When you haven't the patience to hard boil eggs and Mom and Dad have neglected to pick up an Easter-Egg-Dyeing-Kit, you're forced to get creative and research the ancient art of egg-blowing. (The girls apparently found the syringe to be optional. All they really needed was a mouthful of hot air.)


I entered the kitchen at lunch-time to find this lovely basket of blown beauties. They made the dye with food coloring and vinegar, so I'm told.

(Yes, two are them are "piggy eggs" and a few others are embellished with one of our favorite color combinations, orange and blue - Go Hoos.)

Couch Chronicles - Vol. 5

Has Rachel Ray moved into my house?

Before lunch yesterday:

Rachel-Ray-wannabe: "Greek salad is one of my FAVORITE salads. You can either wash your lettuce beforehand or place it in the spinner and rinse it there. Then you'll want to add some baby carrots (etc., etc., etc.)......"

{long quiet pause}

A member of her "studio audience": "Why aren't you talking?"

Rachel-Ray-wannabe: "It's a commercial break."

I know it may sound like we've been watching way too much Food Network but we really haven't. Really! Someone just has a very vivid imagination and some lofty culinary dreams.

Couch Chronicles - Vol. 4

Snippets from Breakfast
(Breakfast occurs in two shifts around here since the olders are always up earlier than the youngers.)

During shift 1:

"Mom, my eyes hurt."

me: "Does your head hurt, too?"

"Well, my eyes are in my head."

I can always count on this particular very concrete child to state the obvious.

During shift 2:

"It's OK if I call you weird, right?"

"Yea."

It's a good sign that we're headed for a happy day when these two wake up feeling so amenable.

Couch Chronicles - Vol. 3

What NOT to say to a woman who is confined to a couch all day:

"Mom, what can I do, I'm soooooooooooo bored."
(She says after trotting in from the balmy spring weather.)

So sorry to hear that your afternoon has been so rough, my dear.

Couch Chronicles - Vol. 2

Domesticity as Seen Through the Scientific Mind

Yesterday, the older girls were mixing some bread. Here's what I overheard from the couch as they were measuring the yeast:

"This is a single-celled bacteria. It's a decomposer. It's a fungi, actually. I don't like touching yeast because I know it's a single-celled fungi."

Um..........OK

Couch Chronicles - Vol. 1

I only see the kitchen during my few yet cherished bathroom trips from the couch to the bathroom throughout the day. I'm still always fearfully aware of the probable state of it. Imagine my joy when I heard this today:

older sister: "How about we play 'How-Fast-Can-You-Clean-Up-the-Kitchen'? Go!"

younger sister: "Why are we doing this? Mom says so?"

older sister: "Mom says so and I say so." (I chuckled at this because I really hadn't "said so".)